


Five, Ten, Fifteen

by fadedmeanings



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Miscarriage, Post-Book(s), Post-Mockingjay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2018-11-18 15:50:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11293827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedmeanings/pseuds/fadedmeanings
Summary: It took Five, Ten, Fifteen years for Katniss Everdeen to agree. This is how Katniss Everdeen finally decided to have children. Post-Mockingjay.





	1. Five

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story that was sitting for over six months, until I recently opened it once again. I plan for two more chapters. Each marking five years into their relationship.

When she discovered she was pregnant she panicked. Her hands shook as she looked at the positive sign of the pregnancy test. She and Peeta had been careful, ever since they moved in together, two years after the end of the rebellion. Now, after three years of relationship she found herself with a positive test. She had been on the pill, and even then he always made sure to use a condom.  It had been five years, but for her it felt like it only had been five minutes. She couldn’t forget that her sister had died. She couldn’t forget that she inadvertently killed so many innocent people.    
She didn’t have the strength to forgive herself and start on a clean slate. Peeta had tried. He pushes her in the direction of life everyday, the only thing that keeps her sane. It wasn’t easy, some days were bad days. Some days she couldn’t get out of bed, and Peeta would sit by her bedside and hold her hand silently. 

Some days she would cry in the shower as the hot water hits her tender skin grafts. The stream of water would muffle her sobs, and Peeta never mentioned anything. She was sure he knew about her morning shower cry, but he never mentioned, even if he saw her red swollen eyes. He would only envelop her in his strong arms, and sometimes that was all she needed. 

Him.  She couldn’t imagine the world without him. 

But some days were good. She hunted and she could imagine she was again a sliver of her former self.  She would braid her hair in the fashion her mother had taught her, the way she had braided Prim’s beautiful blonde locks, and the way she entered her first Hunger Games. Her fingers would automatically move across her dark locks, almost like muscle memory. In those days she would look in the mirror and wonder what had changed. She looked the same, her face at least. A little worn and tired, but her gray eyes and her dark hair still marked her as a product of the Seam. 

Only there was no Seam anymore, it was only a graveyard of ashes. She reminded herself as she walked across the meadow trying not to look down at the ground. In those early days she would breathe in the fresh air and fill her lungs with her eyes closed. In that moment she felt like she could go back in time and pretend she was sixteen again. And her sister wasn't dead. 

* * *

 

The morning of the pregnancy test was a bad day. She had cried in the bathroom and tried to wipe the tears away, but she couldn’t stop. Peeta had gone out that day early, he was a man that needed to be kept busy to keep himself out of his own grief, and he eagerly took a job rebuilding the District. 

She didn’t eat instead she slumped back in her robe and into her bed. She cried herself to sleep for most of the day until the sun lowered in the sky. Peeta would come home any minute. Should she tell him? He’d want to keep it. He wouldn’t understand, he had always wanted children. Especially now she thought,  _ now that we’re both alone.   _

So she did what she always did, she ran away. She almost felt like that silly girl who got drunk the night she realized she’d be going back for another round of the Hunger Games. 

There she was in Haymitch’s front porch again in her robe and slippers, her hair loose around her. He was passed off in his sofa, a knife in his right hand, sound asleep. For old time’s sake she filled an empty pitcher with cold water in his messy post-apocalyptic kitchen. She was about to unceremoniously dump the water on his head when he opened his eyes. 

“I was hoping you’d go away.” He groaned as he got up from his sofa and took the pitcher from her. 

“You were faking it?” She replied incredulously 

“It takes one to know one sweetheart.” He smirked.

He was clearly drunk, and Katniss was about to turn back home, having thought twice about the matter. 

“What do you want?” He almost hissed as he dumped the water into the sink. “ I don’t think this was a friendly neighbor visit, especially not at this time of day and in your pj’s, sweetheart.” He opened the fridge and took out two beers. 

She took a seat in his kitchen table, filled with empty liquor bottles. 

“Do you only survive on liquor these days?” She asked pointing at the empty bottles and at the whole house in general. 

“You come into my house and insult the way I live!” Haymitch said feigning indignation. He takes a good look at her, grey eyes just like her own pierce right through her. “Alright sweetheart, I’m all ears.”

He hands her a beer, but she places it back on the table, untouched.   

Katniss looks at him, his face is hollow with bags under his eyes, as he scratches his stubble. 

“I’m pregnant.” Katniss blurts out and looks at the table, she couldn’t stand Haymitch judging her. 

“Huh,” Haymitch sits back in his chair and takes a swig of his beer. “Well, that was unexpected… I didn’t think the boy had it in him, to knock you up, I mean.” He guffaws his laugh booming off the walls. 

“What are you going to do?” He says after he notices her face, unmoving and unblinking. 

‘I don’t know.” Katniss whispers, meeting his eyes again. She sees it now, the worry in his eyes.  _ Will she burst back into the shadow of herself? _

“You should tell Peeta.” Haymitch retorts, “It is the boy’s right?” Haymitch laughs again. 

“Shut up.” Katniss snaps at him as she storms out, “I shouldn’t have come here.” 

She stormed home, only to find Peeta worried out of his mind. 

“Katniss!” Peeta exclaims, surprised to see her in her robe and slippers. “Where were you? I thought you were hunting.” 

“I was with Haymitch.” She replies, “I didn’t notice I hadn’t changed.” She looks down at her gray comfy robe and plays with the cord around her waist. She can’t really look up at him. 

His blue eyes are too piercing, too filled with worry and love. It almost kills her. She can’t say to that face what she wishes to do with the life growing inside. It would kill him. If he were to die, she was sure she would follow. 

He doesn’t ask anymore questions, only nods.  

“I’m going to take a bath,” She says, after a pregnant pause. 

“Katniss,” Peeta says, as she freezes in her tracks at the sound of her name from his lips. “Are you alright? You know you can tell me anything.” He wraps his arms around her, hugging her from behind. Katniss leans back into his strong chest, by instinct and sighs, relishing in his warmth. Savoring the feel of his strong arms around her body. 

“I know.” She whispers, her voice almost squeaking, her voice seems to be lost. She breaks the embrace and heads up stairs.

He squares his shoulders, and replies he will be in the kitchen, preparing dinner. 

She draws herself a simple bath, a reminiscence of the baths she used to give Prim when she was a babe. Just hot water and a bar of the course soap Greasy Sae was now selling to survive, although there weren’t much customers. Peeta had bought a whole basket. 

Peeta she thought, always kind, always good. She didn’t deserve him. 

She sank into the hot water. It was too hot, the water seared her skin and comforted her with the familiar sensation of being kissed by fire. 

She continued to sink into the water, closing her eyes, letting the sensation overtake her. Until she was completely underwater, holding her breath. The searing sensation brought the memory of another pain that had melted her body, and burned her heart to ashes. 

She saw Prim, in the midst of dead children and fallen parachutes. She could feel like she was back there again. She could see the way her blonde hair shined, and the way her shirt sticked out… her little duck. She could feel her voice failing as as she called her name. She could see how she turned her head at the sound of her name, “Prim!” She had called, incredulous. 

Suddenly the parachutes went off, engulfing her sister, and blasting her back. She felt all over again the grief of her death, and the flames that almost killed her. Suddenly, it was too much. She felt as if she was really burning, the sensation felt real. She panicked splashing water all over the floor along with the soap as she struggled to break the surface of the water. She couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t stand the feeling and she struggled to hold herself up. She started to gasp for air and managed to stand. She found herself stepping out of the tub, when all of the sudden, she fell. 

She screamed, and Peeta burst into the door. 

“Katniss!” he exclaimed as he grabbed a towel and wrapped around her soaking wet body. “Are you alright?” 

Her heart was beating loudly in her ears. She gasped for air, and felt her stomach tighten, as she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen.    
“Katniss,” Peeta said with urgency, “you’re bleeding.” He tried to examine her, but she tightened her grasp on the towel covering her body. She felt the blood dripping down her thighs. He scooped her up in his arms and deposited her in the bed. 

“Katniss,” he pleaded once again, “Please let me see, did you cut yourself?” Ignorant of the real reason she was reluctant to allow him to see her. The white towel around her was beginning to soak with red strokes of blood. She felt dizzy at the sight of her blood collecting in her crotch. 

“I’m pregnant.” She cried, couldn’t bear to look at him. Her tears began to fall in hot streaks down her cheeks. 

His jaw hardened, and suddenly everything made sense. He took a step back, and looked at her, eyes burning with fury, he didn’t say what he wanted to say, instead his voice hardened

“I’m going to look for a doctor.” Peeta said without emotion, looking right at her. 

“Peeta, please…” Katniss pleaded as he headed to the doorway of the bedroom.  

“No, Katniss!” He turned around, yelling, his eyes lighting up with fury. “Don’t. Not right now.” he said in a hollow voice and left to find a doctor.

Katniss cried as the blood seeped into her sheets and pooled in her middle, soaking the towel. 

She felt herself losing grip on consciousness as the door to their bedroom opened. 


	2. Ten

It had been five years since the night of her miscarriage. She could never truly forget the look of fury on her husband’s face. 

_ Her husband. _

The way her lips form the words still feels odd to her. She smiles at the thought. Three months after the incident, as they now call it, they contracted nuptials, officially. It was the happy resolution to the biggest argument they had ever had. Peeta stayed by her side to help her recuperate, but it was Katniss that managed to escalate the issue. She brought it up again, once, a three weeks later, when the memory felt faded at the edges. She thought it would be the same for Peeta. She was wrong. 

Peeta’s tepid response changed after she had brought the matter up again. She felt he deserved a complete explanation. He needed to know that she didn’t mean to rob him of his happiness. 

“Peeta, it was an accident, I had only known it that morning” She recalls explaining in the darkness of their bed. “ I know, I should have told you. I shouldn’t have kept quiet. But I just… I couldn’t.” 

Peeta brings his arms around Katniss as she buries her nose into his neck. She can’t bear to look at the hardened expression of his tender blue eyes.

“Katniss,” Peeta replies, softly, “You should have told me. You know that I would burst at the thought of having a child with you. Please don’t hide things from me.” 

She kisses him as she inches closer to the warmth emanating from his body. His living, breathing body. 

“For a while I was so mad; I couldn’t think clearly. I was on the verge of an episode.” He whispers into the night. Katniss felt the words vibrate into her ears and bounce around in her brain. “It was only the idea of our baby that kept me sane, Katniss. I couldn’t bear another loss. I don’t think I can forgive you not telling me, at least not yet.”

He turned around on his side, taking his warmth and leaving her to fend for herself in the darkness. The next morning he was gone before she had woken up. She felt empty, just like her womb. There was a thought that lingered in her mind as she cried into Peeta’s pillow. 

She had killed the baby. It was her initial disgust for the child that had allowed for fate to offer her a way out. She couldn’t describe the guilt she felt to for the loss of that child. She tried to picture a face, a combination of her and Peeta, but that didn’t help. 

_ Peeta didn’t return that night.  _

For weeks after, in her dreams appeared a boy with Peeta’s reproachful blue eyes, and a set scowl very much like hers. She dreamed she held him in her arms.  _ How little and fragile you are she thought _ as she examined him. He was very much a child borne from her and fathered by Peeta. Suddenly, in the dream Peeta appeared with a big smile on his face, his arms extended towards the babe. 

“Let me hold him,” Dream Peeta whispered in awe.

As she delivered the baby into the arms of his father, he disappeared. She ran her hands over the bundle of empty blankets the infant was settled into. He was no longer there. Peeta’s reproachful eyes began to cry at the sight of the emptiness into her arms. She cried into her hands, and Peeta disappeared. 

Every night, she would dream a similar dream. The dream would drain her, and eventually she would open her eyes in a cold sweat, tears streaming down her face. She never woke Peeta for those nightmares. She felt like she couldn’t. 

The night that Peeta didn’t come home, she no longer woke in tears after the same dream. She had no more tears left. Instead, she went to bed, and the next morning she spent the whole day in the forest. She hunted her breakfast and made herself busy cleaning and gutting a squirrel she shot in the eye and building a fire. She thought about finding her father’s lake and spending the day there, but she was still too weak. Instead, she spent the day hunting and thinking. There wasn’t much game, and before she knew it the sun was setting. She decided to head home. To the empty dark rooms that were once filled with so much light. On her way home she scanned Haymitch’s home for any signs of Peeta. 

She didn’t see any lights or otherwise any sign of life, so once again she entered the home of her former mentor. 

“You know, you really need to get other friends.” Haymitch smirked as she walked into the living room. “You both need other friends.” 

“Was Peeta here?” She asked hurriedly at his hinted suggestion

“Yes.” He huffs as he takes a swig of his bottle. “I know everything. You really need to work this out, sweetheart.” 

“I tried.” Katniss explained as she sat down in the couch next to him. “He’s hurt, and it’s understandable. He thinks I don’t love him enough to give him a child. For all I know, he probably thinks I killed his baby.” 

“The boy’s hurt, but he loves you, more than anything.” Haymitch burped as he took another swig of liquor, his words slurring. “Don’t forget about that, and don’t let this stand in the way.” 

The room fell quiet as she mulled over the words of her former mentor. His advice saved her in the Hunger Games, and even well after. The moonlight streamed from the open windows as she contemplated the full moon, and the silence of the night. 

“I feel so guilty for what happened. I never meant for that to happen. I know I’m not ready to be a mother, but I would never harm anything that came from Peeta. Especially the result of our love.” She broke the silence, her voice breaking, her eyes filled with tears. “I love him, Haymitch.” 

“Well, maybe you should tell him that.” Haymitch said as he patted her back. “Peeta! I know you’re back there snooping!” He yelled. 

Peeta appeared down the stairs and into the living room. She stood up and faced him. He left plenty of space between them. She examined the distance between them, and tentatively moved towards him, until she almost sprinted to his arms. There he was at the bottom of the stairs. His eyes were bloodshot, and his sad expression turned into relief when he felt her in his arms. 

“I’m sorry.” Katniss repeated over and over like a mantra. She was crying. 

His blue eyes were no longer reproachful. His tender blue eyes were on hers. 

“Well, I’m going to take a little midnight walk, make sure I don’t pass out in the street on your way back home.” Haymitch said opening a new bottle of liquor. 

After Haymitch made his way out his own home, he brought her face to his and kissed her. 

“I’m sorry.” She said with each kiss. 

“I know. I was a fool, you didn’t deserve this, I’m sorry.” Peeta cried.    
She felt so happy to finally have him in her arms again that she could feel her heart bursting. “Peeta,” She whispered into his lips. “I never want you to leave me again. I never want to spend another night without you.” She said holding his hands to her chest. 

“Peeta,” She repeated his name like a prayer. “Will you marry me?” 

Peeta smiled as he kissed her. “Yes!” He said.

They both giggled at their tear stained faces as they kissed once again. His tongue lingered on her lips, and she parted her lips to receive it as their tongues fought for dominance. Her hands traveled to his blonde curls. She ran her hands through his hair as Peeta’s hands tightened in her backside.

They both moaned. 

“I love you too” Peeta whispered as he carried her like a blushing bride. He almost ran all the way home. 

That night in their hearts they became husband and wife, and a few months after they had planned a small gathering for a traditional District twelve wedding. Complete with the tosting of the bread and the certificate and all. Her mother even made it to the wedding.

Her heart seemed to burst at the recollection of the vows her husband made. Even now five years later her heart still beats uncontrollably at the thought of their wedding night.  

It was ten years ago that she accepted Peeta back into her life. Or rather it was a decade ago that she accepted, finally that she loved him more than she could imagine. It took two Hunger Games, a war, and a hijacking. It took so much destruction, but out of the ashes of all those they loved, their love rose, stronger than ever. 

They both seemingly entered into a routine in the ten years of their relationship. After their marriage, they became more open with their feelings. They had both learned from their mistakes. Even though they still had bad days. Peeta had his episodes, and Katniss had days where the sight of a mockingjay by her window would send her under the covers. There were too many memories, her father, her sister, and Cinna a swimmed into her consciousness as she felt her body split from her mind once again. As time went by, she created her little game, she would list out any kind thing she had seen someone do, and it helped her remember why life was worth living. 

The morning when she thought she was pregnant she woke up with Peeta’s tender kisses. She brushed her teeth as she counted in her mind the days she had missed her period. Ten days. She was still on birth control, but sometimes she would forget to take her daily dose. She didn't think it was abnormal that she hadn't had a period yet. She had always been irregular. This time it felt different. She and Peeta had a healthy sex life, and she felt the possibility of a pregnancy in the horizon once again. 

This time she wasn’t terrorized. She felt less afraid at the thought of a baby growing in her womb. She almost cried in relief. She thought she would never be able to conceive. She had been convinced that fate had condemned her for the lost baby. She knew it was silly, but she could never shake it from her head. Even when she told Peeta about it, he tried to convince her otherwise. Still, the thought was present in her subconscious.

Her breakfast was already on the table by the time she had gotten downstairs. Peeta had managed to create a huge spread of food that a small army could have ravaged. The pancakes fluffy and warm, with spreads of fruit and jam preserves with freshly baked bread to accompany the breakfast. 

“Good Morning!” Katniss said as she sat down, obviously chipper at the sight of Peeta in an apron. His muscles straining under his tight shirt. He had definitely come a long way from the boy who was delivered to kill her in District Thirteen. Sometime the memory of his hijacked state comes back to haunt her that she can almost feel the pressure of his hands on her neck. On days like today, she would notice all the good those hands were capable of doing. He could knead the dough with the same strength and firm hands that were capable of eliciting moans of pleasure from her in the darkest of nights. She had to smile at the thought of his hands palming her breast, and she felt shivers down her spine. 

“What are you smiling about?” He asked laughing at her expression. He was in a very good mood. 

“Nothing.” She said as she digged into her breakfast “Just thinking about you.” she giggled like a schoolgirl 

He sat down next to her and digged into his own plate. He looked at her _in that way_ , that she found herself unable to look away. She continued eating in the middle of their little game. 

“Peeta, there is something I want to tell you” Katniss said “I’m late.” 

“What?” Peeta dropped his fork and looked at her in surprise, “You’re not joking are you?” 

“Of course not!” Katniss said feigning indignation. 

He reached over to hug her, with a huge smile on his face. His blue eyes, shining with the thought of a baby in the house. 

“We might be parents!” Peeta exclaimed getting up and looking for his coat. 

“Where are you going?” She laughed as she observed him rapidly and almost clumsily ripping off the apron. 

“Wait here, I’m going to buy some pregnancy tests.” Peeta hurriedly exclaimed almost running out the door. 

“Peeta!” She exclaimed “Peeta, we should finish break-” He closed the door before she could get the full sentence out. She laughed shaking her head. She felt completely famished and proceeded to eat his pancakes as well as hers. 

Peeta was back in record time. She was starting to clean up the signs of their breakfast from the table and the kitchen, and leaving a plate for her husband who had run off like a wild animal. 

“I’ve got them!” Peeta said “I’ve got like three different brands!” He said holding up the bag of tests.

“Ok,” Katniss said as she took the bag and headed for the bathroom. She thanked him with a peck in the lips. 

“Oh, by the way I ate all your pancakes.” Katniss laughed as she shut the door. Peeta groaned at the sight of his empty plate, he didn't know Katniss had indeed saved him a plate of leftovers. 

 “I’ll just do one to start.” She yelled 

She proceeded to pee on the testing strip. Then she waited. 

Those five minutes seemed eternal. She paced around the bathroom in silence until Peeta asked to join her silent wait. They both sat on the edge of the tub as they stared at the test on the other side on the counter. Katniss was afraid to touch it, instead they sat hand in hand. 

“Katniss… do you feel ready?” Peeta asked “I… thought for sure that I was ready, but I’m not sure.” 

“I don’t know” Katniss sighed “I feel less terrified than the first time. And Peeta, we all know who will be the better parent.” She laughed at her joke. Peeta only smiled bashfully at her comment. 

The five minutes were up.

Katniss was the first to check the test. 

“I’m not pregnant.” She sighed. She practically jumped into Peeta’s open arms and cried. She cried for the baby she had lost. She cried for the torture and the guilt she had felt ever since. She cried for this phantom baby she didn’t plan for, but now didn’t mind the idea of. 

“I’m probably barren.” She mumbled into his shirt. “Why else did I miscarry the first time? I’m just too damaged Peeta. You should have married someone else.” 

She struggled to get away from Peeta who wouldn’t let her go as she explained the feelings of worthlessness that had been plaguing her.

“No you’re not” He tried to comfort her as he explained that there were two more tests to try. He whispered reassuring things into her ear.

“I love you” He said over and over.  

“Let me go!” She cried as she continued to struggle, her face growing red and blotchy. 

Peeta let her go as tears spilled out of his own eyes. He looked at the discarded pregnancy test, confirming its result as Katniss ran to the protection of their bedroom and locked the door. 


	3. Fifteen

Katniss would lie awake sometimes, staring at the cracks forming in her ceiling. Time had, after all, passed, and washed over her like a wave. Her husband slumbers next to her, snoring softly, mumbling in his sleep something about batches and rising bread dough. In his sleep, he never failed to remind her of the dying sixteen-year-old boy she saved from death’s door in their first arena. He looks so peaceful a world away from the tortured boy that came back to her from the Capitol. After fifteen years, his face still maintained the boyish charm that helped him win favor in his first arena. If she stared hard enough she could almost see him, once again, the boy with the bread. She could still remember his confused blue eyes, pained by the infection and injury. She would come to know every emotion in those eyes from lust to the fiery anger that consumed them in his darkest days.

They had seen too much together, too young. It pained her to think of the past, and the future still terrified her. At her age, her mother and father had two mouths to feed. She has no want of money or hunger. She was spared from watching her children die in an arena. In fact, she was secured for life, as “the face of the rebellion.” The two were war veterans, and “living legends.” At least that’s what they told them when the first check came in the post. She didn’t care about the money, and let Peeta deal with them. She’d refused to talk to Plutarch or anyone that represented the Republic of Panem. In fifteen years, she’d only agreed to an interview with Peeta during the tenth-year anniversary of the war. She’d only agreed to quench rumors and reporters from running to District 12 after the news broke out of the wedding.

“People want to know what’s happening with our ‘star-crossed lovers.’” Plutarch explained as he pitched the interview on the phone.

“No!” Katniss shook her head, “I can’t.” She wanted to barf at the mention of _“our star-crossed lovers.”_ She wanted to reach over and smash the telephone Peeta had put him on speaker phone and talked through the deal, while she sat quietly seething in her seat.

“Plutarch, I thought we had a deal.” Peeta sighed rubbing his temples with his hands.

“Look, this is the only way to get rid of the sea of reporters in your front lawn. It’s gold! It’s like you planned to get married only a month before the tenth anniversary! The people will love this!” He laughed, as the number of ratings materialized in his mind. “I think we can even stretch coverage for this for at least two weeks.”

Katniss and Peeta both sighed and agreed to opening their doors to the cameras one more time in exchange for Plutarch to pull his strings and remove them from front covers of magazines and gossip shows that the people of the Capitol ate up.

And so, for what she hoped was the last time, there sat Caesar Flickerman in her living room, with ridiculous powdered pink wig, and a rose gold shimmering suit. He seemed so out of place sitting in her loveseat across from them, bright lights shining in her eyes as the cameras were adjusted, as an unnamed prep team buzzed around the three of them with brushes and a variety of powders.

The green tinted one with frosty tips in her hair reminded her of Venia. She didn’t speak though, but she could sense her excitement in the way she would try to hold in her tears of excitement as she applied her blush. Peeta, as always smiled, and made small talk with just about anyone, while Katniss only spoke up to respond when she was addressed, but otherwise she made no comment.

Caesar was as charming as ever, with his ridiculous laugh as he made a witty remark, his pearly whites nearly blinding her, just like old times, she recalled.

“I never thought we would be back here to be completely honest,” He said staring at them oddly, “But let me tell ya, I’m not minding one bit,” He laughed. “I can’t wait to talk about what our Mockingjay has been up to in the last decade, let me tell you honey, you don’t look a day above eighteen.”

He laughed again and Peeta remarked something witty. She couldn’t hear above the sound of her own anger rising in her ears. She only smiled unconvincingly. When the cameras turned on, in the flash of a seconds she made more of an effort, and smiled wider.

Caesar settled into his seat and effortlessly started asking questions, it was almost as if they were just old friends who were reminiscing of the past, and catching up with each other’s lives. Only the questions were mostly about them. Peeta like always took the lead, and Katniss held back, only adding hums of approval to Peeta’s remarks.

“I know that the time after the war was a very hard time for everyone in the nation,” Caesar started in a somber voice, “We all lost so much, family and friends, not unlike either of you, but most especially, someone who was incredibly important to, uh Katniss….” He paused, “Your sister. Primrose. How do you feel, almost ten years from her death?”

Katniss nodded along and blinked, looking into his eyes for the first time. She considered shrugging off the question, asking for privacy, refusing to talk about it, or giving a standard answer, the one Haymitch and Plutarch prepped her for. After a beat, she looked into the camera.

“It’s been… hard for me.” She took a breath. “All of you know the story, how my mental health suffered, how I mourned her. How I felt like I had been broken beyond repair. It’s tough to think of what could’ve been… she could’ve been finishing up medical school, for all we know.” She tried to chuckle softly.

“All those moments that were robbed from her… from me… from us.” She struggled as her throat seemed to close and her eyes were welling up. “I will never forget those who lost their lives, every moment, every milestone, I will always think of them and honor their memory the best way I can.” She continued as she composed herself and nodded.

“And what better way to honor them than to continue living your lives together! We’ve heard of your nuptials to the lucky man who is sitting right beside you.” Caesar said changing the tone of his voice once again.

“That’s right” Katniss smiled at Peeta. “I am lucky enough that he accepted me, after all this time.”

“Oh, I can’t wait for the babies!” Caesar exclaimed “I’ve said this before, but you two would make beautiful babies, I know I’m not the only one who’s been hoping for a mockingjay baby!” He laughed.

Katniss’s smile faltered. She didn’t know what to say, what should she say? Oh, I know Caesar, but I think the Capitol left me barren. Or maybe, that would be lovely Caesar, but I hate children.

The audience back home would associate the pain with her fake child, the one born out of a lie from the supposed father in an interview not unlike this one, only that time she was wearing white and pearls and her dress turned into feathery wings she wished she could use right now. She didn’t bother telling anyone she had been pregnant once, but not when she was seventeen, but after the war.

Now, the child kicked in his sleep, she assumed. As she felt a sharp kick to her ribs as she laid on her side. She was nine months pregnant, labor was imminent. Peeta, had arranged her go bag for the fifth time as it sat full of everything a new mother and a newborn needed. Pregnancy had not been very difficult for her thankfully.

It was only the first time she felt the child stir, that a terror struck inside of her guts that she couldn’t shake. It almost sent her running to the woods, but Peeta’s strong arms, like always managed to soothe her.

His kind words always managed to comfort her, and bring her into the present, away from her fears, and into the real world.

“Our child will be happy, and he will always have his strong mother there to guide him, and his father.” He would say when she would express doubt. “There is no more Hunger Games, the world is vastly different now than before, thanks to you our child, and every other child will be free to be a kid.”

It was not unlike the speech he gave her the day, after many years of not talking about it, Peeta brought up the idea of having a baby once again. They were both spent and sated after making love, she felt so content, so loved in his arms. She thought about it through the haze of her happiness. He kept talking, and talking spelling out his argument.

Enough time had passed that she felt her pain faded at the edges, easier to handle. She had built a life around rebuilding District 12, a life with Peeta, baking, hunting, finding meaning in their ways to remember their dead. She even had started a new budding relationship with her mother. Old wounds began to heal, and those that couldn’t she had begun to find peace within herself.

She reached to kiss him blocking any more words from coming out of his mouth. “Yes!” She said in between sloppy kisses, “Of course I will have a baby with you. It would make me so happy.”

She remembers his face after that, it was pure disbelief. His tears dampened their kisses. “Katniss, I thought I would never hear you say that.” He sobbed.

Once again, the baby brought her away from her dreamy state, giving her another kick, as she rubbed her belly. “What is it? Do you want to come out?” She whispered as his father sored softly beside her.

“Is your daddy being too loud?” She chuckled.

It was then that she felt a pain she hadn’t felt before gripping her like a vice. She gasped out loud. She managed to sit up in her bed, head against the headboard. For a second unwelcomed fear grasped at her from the edges of her mind.

She thought to herself. _This is normal. This is normal. It’s supposed to be happening._ She breathed in deeply, after a few minutes she felt the same pain, and once again it made her gasp. She pulled her feet out of the bed and let them dangle as she took deep breaths.

“Peeta,” She gasped, between breaths, “Peeta, it’s starting!” She said in a higher voice hitting him with her pillow gently to wake him.

“Katniss” Peeta said as he opened his eyes, “It’s time?” He asked sleepily as bolted out of bed and helped her out of bed. He took her hands in his and lead her to her feet.

“Everything’s fine Katniss, remember to breathe.” Peeta said as his blue eyes blinked the sleep away. They stood hand in hand, arms spread apart as she used him to shift her weight and steady herself. It was then that she felt it.

“Oh!” She gasped as she felt something deep inside slide down her thighs and wet her panties and nightgown.

“What is it? Is it another contraction?” Peeta asked concerned.

“My water just broke.”  She replied.

Peeta looked at her and Katniss smiled, both couldn’t contain their happiness. It wouldn’t be long before their child would be born.

“Come on, let’s get you to the hospital,” Peeta replied hurriedly finding his keys and helping Katniss into her shoes.

* * *

 

She swore she would never find herself in another hospital, not again in her lifetime, but there she was again. In labor, and ready to meet her own desired baby. She hoped the labor wouldn’t be too difficult, but she found the pain to be another thing entirely that she had never felt. 

It was not long before she found herself in a room all to herself, one of the perks of being the “face of the rebellion.” As doctors and nurses shuffled in and out checking her blood pressure and heart, writing things in their charts and having a bird’s eye view in between her legs to check her dilation.

“It will not be long, Mrs. Mellark,” a balding doctor with glasses said. Katniss had never met him before, He must have been one of the doctors District 12’s hospital had brought from other parts of the country. Katniss had a sheen of sweat on her brow, and her hair was sticking to her forehead in a sweaty, sticky mess. Peeta was right by her side, holding her hand and feeding her ice chips.

Just then another contraction ripped through her, and she screamed this time around. She held Peeta’s hand tight enough to cut off circulation. His knuckles were white, but he didn’t seem to mind. It was not long before his hand had lost any feeling.

The doctor had declared she was in active labor, and decided it was time to push. Katniss pushed with all her might whenever the doctor asked and breathed in as per his directions. She did it again and once more. She felt tears stinging her eyes, slipping down her cheeks, the pain had transcended through her, she felt like she was tearing herself into pieces.

She looked at Peeta who only looked back in wonder. His tender blue eyes in awe as the doctor called out “Here comes the head.”

“Wait, Wait!” Katniss stopped suddenly, taking a breath.

 “What, what if I’m not ready?” Katniss cried.

“Look at me Katniss!” Peeta said, caressing her cheek with his free hand, “You can do this. You’re going to be a great mother. This is just the beginning.”

He closed the gap between them with a tender kiss.

“We really must continue.” The doctor interrupted in a haste.

Katniss steeled herself, once more, and pushed, and breathed, push and breathed, until she heard the piercing cry as she felt her baby slip into the world.

“Congratulations, Mrs. Mellark, Mr. Mellark, you have a beautiful baby girl!” the doctor announced.

 She slumped into her hospital bed, exhausted. She heard the cries of a healthy newborn as she was handed to the nurses who promptly cleaned and weighed her. She was handed back to Katniss in a blanket by a young blonde nurse.

“She perfectly healthy.” The blonde nurse said softly as she handed the baby to her mother.

The held the small bundle in her arms, and she couldn’t believe it. Her heart felt like it could burst. She felt tears slipping once again, wetting her cheeks.

“She’s perfect.” She cries as the baby stirs in her arms.

Her eyes are blue, like her father’s and her hair is dark like her mother’s. She peers up at Katniss with wonder, her eyes scanning the room. Katniss looks up at Peeta who is standing before them, his eyes welling up with tears.

“She’s beautiful.” He said as he examined her features.

“She looks like her father.” Katniss replied as she passed the baby to her impatient father. He held her for the first time, and Katniss couldn’t help but remark how normal it felt, this sight. Peeta holding their newborn daughter with such care, and devotion in his eyes.

“Thank you, Katniss.” Peeta smiled. “For this. For taking a chance.”

“I already love her with all my heart, our Willow,” She smiled.

In that moment nobody else existed but her daughter and her husband. There was nothing more that she could’ve wanted and she felt a fool to think that once she would’ve lived without ever experiencing this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, with one day left in 2017, I decided to power through and give this lovely story an end. I had been sitting on the first two paragraphs since August, and decided to finish it before the New Year. I hope you all enjoy it. Happy 2018! I wish you all the best, clear skin, money, and happiness all around!


End file.
